


underground

by mutsukisan



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a bit inspired from that one chapter in beastars, but its not furry, this is my first time finishing an angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21916267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutsukisan/pseuds/mutsukisan
Summary: In search for solitude, Mori met him.
Relationships: Arihara Morihito/Kagurazaka Soushi
Kudos: 16





	underground

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time finishing an angst

A place where you can abandon your mask.

It was something Mori always wanted. Being born into a wealthy and noble family meant he had to act like one. He suppressed all his material desires and interests to fit the image needed to be the son of a high-class family. He did everything not to waste his privilege and worked hard to have an honorable reputation.

Arihara Morihito, the noble son of the Arihara family. A well-mannered, intelligent young man with excellent skills in music. That was the mask he crafted that suited society. It was his mask and prison.

He believed that the easiest way to be accepted by society was to fit its ideals.

He lived that way until one fateful night.

It was a month after his 20th birthday, his parents had allowed him to venture around with freedom. He spent those times spending with top-class people, which meant being invited to drinking parties a lot. It happened by chance that he was tipsy and shamelessly asked the bartender about a drink he kept hearing and was curious about. To his surprise, the bartender instead led him to a changing room and showed him a room full of masks.

When he asked what it was about, the bartender explained to him about the existence of an underground party commonly used by people with a high social class where they wear a mask and conceal their identities.

Mori gulped.

This was very suspicious, it was too suspicious in the fact that he should be saying that he made a mistake and leave for home.

Yet he couldn’t.

The prospect of the party interested him.

_“A party where you can conceal your identity”_

All his life he always wore a “mask”.

It was his chance to abandon it.

A place where he can abandon all societal expectations thrown at him.

A place where he is just “Morihito.”

Not the son of the Arihara’s. Not a privileged man with a reputation.

Just “Morihito.”

Mori wanted it, he wanted it so bad. He gave in and wore the mask to the party.

It changed him, for the first time, he felt free.

It was soon a place he returned to often. His sanctuary.

That was also a place where he met him.

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

Mori looked at the stranger talking to him. He saw a tall man with a great built wearing a wolf mask.

If there was another thing that Mori is grateful for in this party, it is that no one adheres to the concept of heterosexuality. And that is one thing he is not.

"Sure…" He nodded at the man and continued drinking his wine. This party is often used for high-class people to get shameless and wild, however, Mori just likes the atmosphere of the party and prefers drinking alone. People wanting to get on with him isn't a rare thing given the place he isn't so the man sitting beside him wasn't such a big deal.

However, something about this man felt a bit different. He felt his heart throbbing, he wondered if he drank too much already.

“You know, I am not going to deny this, but I noticed that you come here a lot huh?” The man asked.

Mori laughed. “Well, indeed I am. I am curious though, why do you know that it’s specifically me? Are you tailing me?”

The man smiled. "Funny. It's just that you wear the same mask and sit on the same seat every time."

“That’s a strange thing to notice.”

The man laughed. He picked up his glass and faced Mori. “I am interested in you. You can call me Sou.”

Mori smiled. He doesn’t mind spending the night with someone this time after all. “You can call me M.”

Surely enough, Sou met him again in his next visit. He doesn’t mind. After all, Sou is nice to talk to. He never felt this comfortable talking with someone in his life.

“Hey M. How come you always drink the same drink?”

Mori looked at his glass. He never really tried drinking anything that's not beer at this party. Drinking cocktails and wines remind him of what he is in reality.

“… It comforts me.” He answered uncomfortably. He hopes that Sou won't suggest that he drink another drink.

"Then you could at least drink it while eating this, it'll taste better," Sou said as he handed Mori a chicken dish. Mori smiled. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the fact that he is happy. But his heart feels a lot lighter when he is with Sou.

There are a lot of things that Mori realized about Sou. They've been interacting a lot in the past months and Mori enjoys his company. Meeting Sou is one of the reasons why Mori loves to come back to the party now. Sou is a caring soul. His appearance is intimidating but he is just a caring man. He loves to tease Mori a lot with how reserved Mori is. Yet when he touches Mori, its not forceful, nor too respectful. He treats Mori like an equal and Mori is grateful for that.

This night, they weren't at their usual seats at the party. They were just watching over the people dancing on the dance floor, free of care from the world.

It made Mori remember the harshness of reality.

“You know… it’s hard to keep up a face these days huh…”

Sou looked at him. “Indeed. Yet that’s what society is. No matter what you are, you have to pretend to some degree.”

Mori looked down sadly. “Then I want to ask. Are you pretending right now?”

Sou held his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him. “To some degree…”

“… Oh.”

“But you know…”

“Hmm?”

Sou went closer to him and held his hand. Mori flinched a bit. He was thankful for the dimness of the place and the mask he is wearing. He can feel his heartbeat speed up again. It’s always like that with Sou. Sou didn’t continue what he was saying, the two of them only stared at each other. Mori felt his face heating up. He was desperately trying to deny the fact that he is attracted to Sou to a huge degree and the distance between them wasn’t helping.

When Sou smiled, Mori felt his heart melt. Sou intertwined their fingers and lifted it closer to his face. Then he kissed the backside of Mori’s hand.

Mori wanted to scream.

"When I'm with you, I am the most real I can be."

Silence.

Even in a place where loud music was constantly playing. Even when there is a couple having sex beside them. Mori can't hear anything. All his senses are concentrated on the man he is holding hands right now. It was the first time Mori met Sou's eyes.

“… You have beautiful gray eyes…” He said as Sou’s face went closer to his.

"Your green eyes are also the most beautiful ones I ever saw," Sou said as he closed the distance between them for good.

That night, in a room they reserved for themselves. They became one. As they screamed each other's codename. All the clothes were removed except for the masks they were wearing.

Making love with someone you know so well yet still a stranger to each other. It is a bittersweet memory that Mori cherished.

“… M… I have to apologize.” Sou said.

Mori looked at him from the other side of the bed. It has been a week ever since they started having sex during their meetings. It was the first time that Sou ever apologized.

“… Why are you apologizing?”

“This is the last time I’ll ever go to this party.”

“… Ah?”

Mori wanted it to become a dream. No, it was a nightmare. He doesn’t want to believe it.

“Why…?”

Sou smiled sadly. “I found myself a job. It’s time to pick myself up again.”

Mori looked down.

A job.

He knew that Sou was unemployed, but he didn’t know that he’d come to this.

He was happy about Sou having a job again. But he didn’t know why does it have to come to this. He wants to ask.

But he can’t.

At this party, they are lovers. In the real world, they are only strangers. It was a sad fate which he should've faced a long time ago. He can't deny that he carelessly fell in love.

But he still didn’t want things to end yet. Not like this.

He looked up to Sou, desperately tugging the other's sleeve.

“… I understand… but I have one last request.”

Sou looked at him with curiosity.

“… Can we dance?”

As someone who always watches musical shows, Mori knows about bittersweet stories very well. As operas are, the saddest part is when the two lovers share the last dance. A mixture of romance and departures. He never thought that one day he'd experience it.

In a viewer’s eyes, the last dance is a bittersweet part of the story, because there is hope that the two will meet again.

In reality, it was much more painful than expected. As Sou held him by the waist, his hand holding his as they waltz on the dance floor. Each step was like a countdown to their time together. Mori bit his lips. He shouldn’t be hurt. He knew that his relationship with Sou had always been at face value. He had no right to cry.

However, it was difficult. He couldn't look at Sou anymore. He looked down to avoid his eyes as he gripped tightly onto Sou's shoulder.

“…M… Don’t cry…”

“…” Mori bit his lip. Sou was doing it again. Despite how hurt Mori was feeling. Despite how much he hides his true feelings. It’s like Sou can read him like an open book.

They did a spin and Sou removed his hands from Mori’s to touch Mori’s face. A gentle touch overflowing with emotions. Mori leaned his face towards that hand, responding to his emotions as well.

As they continued dancing, Mori felt calmer. He removed Sou’s hand to hold it again.

There was nothing he can do.

Which is why he decided to make the most out of it.

“…Sou.”

“Hmm…?”

“Can I be honest with you?”

Sou chuckled. “You have been like that ever since we met.” Mori smiled.

“I wasn’t. You just understand me too well.”

“Are you angry about that?”

“No, in fact, I’m grateful for it.”

“I see.”

“…” Mori smiled sadly. Their conversations had always been like that. It was as if Sou was waiting for him to speak again.

“Sou? Do you still remember when we first met?”

Sou did a turn and held Mori’s body closer to him. “Of course I do. You were snobbish towards me after all."

Mori laughed. “I was huh… I thought I could get rid of that attitude if I came here… I guess I was wrong.”

“Hmm…” Sou hummed. “If it’s not rude to ask, but why are you here, M?”

"I grew up in an environment where I forced myself to be the ideal son I can be. Every day became harder to continue faking everything.” Mori said. He doesn’t know why he started talking about his life, but when he looked at Sou, who is looking at him without judgment, he feels like he can tell him everything.

"I found this place by chance, it's a place that contradicts everything I've been raised as, but here, I feel free." Mori continued. Sou didn't speak and continued leading him on the dance floor.

“I’ve been doing things here without restrains, then I met you.”

“Met me?”

"It's strange when you talked to me, I felt vulnerable. We can only talk to each other while wearing masks, but it's as if you can see what's behind my mask. It’s like you can see all of me…”

“…”

"For that reason, I became afraid to tell you my name," Mori confessed. "You are my comfort and my fear… I have been fake towards you… I’m sorry…”

“… I understand. I have been fake towards you too.”

Mori paused. “Eh?”

“You came here for solitude, and when I talked to you, my intentions weren’t pure.”

“…”

Sou sighed. "You were also the first person I've ever talked to this party, and it's strange. When I met your eyes, all my ill intentions vanished. The only thing I could think of is _‘I want to talk to him more.’_ ”

“…Should I believe that?” Mori asked, feeling betrayed.

“Haha. Does it feel like a lie?”

“Yes…”

“… I see. Nonetheless, I was happy that you continued to talk to me. I kept trying to make myself believe that you only talked to me due to the nature of this party. Am I wrong?”

“… Not completely.” That was a lie. Mori felt at home with Sou. He looked forward to talking to him every visit to the party. However, he is afraid that what he felt was one-sided. He was aware of the sexual tension growing between them that eventually led towards them sleeping together. His sexual desire aside, he doesn’t know if Sou felt the same towards him. He doesn’t want to assume especially when the clock is ticking and their time was almost up.

“You are enchanting M. You are calming to talk to. The more I talked to you, the more I wanted to see you more.”

_"Alright, everyone! The last song for tonight!"_

Mori flinched. Sou held him tighter as they continued dancing.

“You wholeheartedly trusted a stranger like me… well not wholeheartedly because you never revealed to me your name. Nonetheless, you were there to listen to my ramblings.”

_Me too._

"Despite showing your weaknesses, you'd still held your head high with dignity."

“…”

“You are like a fresh breath of air, my side of the story is not important, but that’s how I saw you.”

The crowd was beginning to decrease. The party was ending. Mori felt the pain in his heart increase by the second.

“You said that I am your weakness and comfort, well, that’s how I saw you too. But I want you to one day be able to face your life without relying on this place for solitude. That someday, you will find something that you will look forward to in your life that is not related to this place. I want you to find happiness.”

Lies. That wasn’t what Mori is being given tonight. He began to tear up again.

_“Everybody, thank you for tonight!”_

“Mori…” Sou said softly, Mori looked away from him. He removed his hands from him and prepared to walk away but Sou stopped him.

“Sou—”

“I love you.”

Mori’s eyes widened in shock. He looked at Sou at reflex. The view shocked him. Sou had removed his mask enough for Mori to see his face. His heart began to beat faster at the sight of Sou’s face. He looked stunningly handsome. The way his eyes are making eye contact with his made him soft in the knees.

It was beautiful, and that fact hurt him more.

“Whether you believe me or not… It’s up to you…”

Sou squeezed his hand for a final contact.

“Goodbye… Thank you for everything.” He whispered as he let go of Mori and began to walk away when Mori said something loud enough for him to hear.

“Goodbye Sou… I love you too.” Mori confessed as he ran out of the party.

It was time for them to depart.

\--

“Morihito, I have something planned for you.” Mori looked up from the musical sheet he was reading.

“What is it, father?”

“A month ago, we hired someone to be your bodyguard. Just now, I received the report that he was ready to serve you.” His father said. Mori nodded. It has been two weeks since he last met Sou, which was also the last time he went to the party. He knew that he would only be hurt if he continued going to that place.

“When do I meet that person?”

"After we land. There will be further arrangements so that he can officially be your bodyguard. Are you against it?"

Mori shook his head. "No. It doesn't bother me. Thank you for arranging this for me, father. May I know that person's name?"

His father handed him a folder. “It’s in here, look at his profile as you like.” Mori nodded.

He opened the folder and almost dropped it in shock.

The picture of the resume he was reading had a face he is too familiar with. The same beautiful gray eyes and the mole under his lip. Mori hastily read the name.

_‘Kagurazaka Soushi’_

_Sou._ He smiled to himself.

For once he looked forward to a change in his personal life.

He isn’t sure what will happen, but to see Sou again, he decided to enjoy that fact.

After all, he was still in love with him.


End file.
